Happy Day

It has been a dreary, grey and wet spring on the west coast. I have been waiting for a sunny, warm and welcoming day like today for what seemed like  a long long time. So, for the first time this season, I rode on my scooter to run my errands today. I grinned like an idiot the whole time I was riding, people passing me and saw me must think I was smiling to myself about some secret jokes. I couldn’t help myself but smiled when the wind blew at my helmet shield, tugging at my clothes and the sun warmed my face like it was beaming only at me. I love the feeling when riding on my scooter.

My husband and son wanted to do a short hike with me. Lo and behold, our youngest daughter was able and willing to come along – THAT was a surprising and extraordinary happening. Not too long ago, I didn’t think she wanted to go anywhere with us or be in our presence. We had a lovely gentle hike along Gold Creek. We stopped many times along the way to take photos of the beautiful forests, the water, the mountains and even tree stumps and moss. When we finally reached our destination, the  waterfall, we had a quick refreshing snack of oranges while we sat next to the water thundering down the vertical drop, boiling where the water met the scattered rocks and boulders.

As with our family tradition, after a hike we went out for dinner where they served milkshakes. Our middle daughter met us there. For a first time in a long time, the WHOLE family ate dinner together, at the same table and at the same time, albeit in a restaurant not at home. My husband and I just enjoyed ourselves by listening to the kids … I loved their non-stop chatter, telling stories about various things in the lives (we learned many new things), kibitzing with each other good naturedly, and best of all, we all enjoyed being with each other. There were no fights, no sarcasm, no jibes about anything – BONUS!

Today was one of those happy days … authentic togetherness, connection, fun, laughter and harmony. AWESOME, AWESOME, AWESOME!!!

Co-Dependency

Is it co-dependency? Well, I don’t care what one calls it … if it is co-dependency, then so be it.

Here’s why … A business trip and a family medical emergency trip took my husband and I away from each other for 2 weeks. It is not that we haven’t been apart before; in fact, sometimes we’ve been separated for longer than 2 weeks. I find that the longer we have been married, the more we find we each depend on the other for various things. Some are natural fits … like he is responsible for all the outside the house kind of work (e.g. mowing the lawn, taking care of the garbage and recycling, trimming the trees and bushes, etc.) and I mostly for inside the house stuff. We share the household chores well and after some time, it sort of goes without saying for the most part. So when we are apart, we have to take over each other’s responsibilities a little more. Thank goodness, our eldest is able to step in and he is very responsible and mature about it.

The first few days without my husband felt like a release … I don’t have to cook a balanced meal and just have a can of soup if I feel like it, I can go grocery shopping (without a list – that would drive him nuts) whenever I want and I can watch the news on TV till late at night in our bedroom without guilt. This novelty often wears off pretty quickly, and I feel like I’m missing something.

I wanted to share all the wonderful adventures and visits I had while I was out of town. I had no one to snuggle up with. I missed him holding my hand when crossing the street. I had no one to bounce things off of, or share my concerns. I craved his presence around me, even though we did our own things most of the time.

They say you get used to each other, warts and all, after being a couple for a long time. This is certainly true for me. If this is co-dependency, I think it’s pretty AWESOME!

Nominated

Maybe our youngest, K, is finally getting a little more mature. After a week of my absence, not only was I surprised by her cheerful greetings upon my return, a calla lily plant for Mother’s Day, she came home and cooked and ate dinner with me yesterday. At dinner, she told me that a counsellor came to one of her classes to get her to fill out some forms. In a nonchalant way, she told me that the forms were for an art scholarship. Apparently, one of her art teachers nominated her for a $1000 scholarship.

K is not an A student, she totally can be one IF she puts a little more effort into it. She has been coasting in high school since her entry. School is more like a social event for her, so you can understand why I was pleasantly surprised by this nomination, and also not. K has natural talents in art, she is very creative, has an eye for artistic and artful work, is willing to try new things and she loves drawing, photography and painting. She also already has an artist’s attitude …. she wants to create her own art on her own terms, not to be told what to do and how to do things. She doesn’t seem to understand that natural talents only take one so far, talent has to be developed and practiced in order to grow.

It doesn’t matter if she gets the scholarship or not, the simple act of nomination tells me that one of her teachers at her school appreciates her gift and talent enough to take the time and effort to nominate her. That’s enough for me, I am so proud of her. AWESOME!!!

Today, I was going to cook dinner with her again but I was tied up with a work call. She cooked the entire dinner on her own. Double AWESOME!!!

Three Mother’s Day Surprises

I have been away all week on a business trip, returning on Mother’s Day. Despite the mutual frustrations and sometimes undesirable behaviours exhibited by our children (and sadly, sometimes me), like most parents, I wonder more than I care to admit if I had been a responsible and effective mom raising our children. I had gotten up at 6 am to catch two flights to come home, at the airport when I had lots of time for my mind to wander and to mull over my parenting, I couldn’t help but wondered :

• Did I do a good enough job as a parent?
• Did we teach them right from wrong? good from bad? the values that really matter in life?
• Did we tell and show them often enough that we are proud of them and believe in them?
• Did the kids notice I had been gone all week? (I did speak to 2 of them a couple of times if only for a few minutes on Skype)
• Did they miss me?
• Would they even notice that the day I was coming home was Mother’s Day?

Abiding by the airline rules, I turned off my cell phone once I boarded the plane and didn’t turn it back on until the plane landed. As multiple emails started populating my phone while taxiing to the terminal, I saw a text message from our middle daughter, JA, “Happy Mother’s Day, mum! See you after work …” I secretly imagined pumping my fist in the air with a “Yes, she remembers”.

I had arranged for our son to pick me up at the airport. I  thought I had to wait for 1.5 hrs at the airport as he told me he wouldn’t get off work to get there on time when I arrived, so I was resigned to have a coffee and wait. But he got off work early and he was there to greet me, with a small bouquet of lilies for Mother’s Day. Another remembered. I thought, “Good, two out of three is not bad at all.”

Once home, I got caught up with the local newspapers with a cup of tea in hand, when our youngest daughter came home from work. A cheery “I’m home. Mom, are your there?” followed by a big smile and hug and a “Happy Mother’s Day”, a small dark purple calla lily potted plant was thrusted at me – that, I did not anticipate at all.

Sometimes small miracles happen. It is moments like these that remind me that we have three AWESOME children, and that may be, just may be we did ok as parents. AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME for each of our kids!

Mothering teenagers

I’m on a business trip and staying at a B&B. The owner operator of this gorgeous B&B by the ocean is a mother of a 16 year old daughter, L. Like many parents with teenagers, she is going through the insufferable teenage years. From an outsider’s perspective (mine), her daughter does not seem out of control – she is not lippy, not overly demanding and quite smart and athletic. I am certain I am only seeing a minute side of her, but I understand the mom’s exasperation, undeserved indignity and frustration when minor inconsequential incidents became out of proportion disasters.

The teenage daughter’s 16th birthday is tomorrow. A wonderful party and meal are being planned, friends will gather for a scavenger hunt, a steak dinner with all the trimmings and side dishes, and I’m sure many presents. Both mom and dad are doing so much to make it a wonderful day for her.

In this day and age, the kids seem to have everything they could possibly want and parents are bending over backwards to make their kids’ lives easier and more enjoyable than what they themselves had experienced. Yet, there seems an unspoken expectation of “gimmes”.

Sunday is Mother’s Day, All mothers should have an AWESOME day. I hope L will remember to honour her mom and all the wonderful things she has done to support her. I wonder if my children will remember that I will be home on Sunday to spend Mother’s Day with them?

Halifax revisited

I had 3 days to be tourist in the beautiful city of Halifax. The last time I was here was 21 years ago … memories of that visit has faded with age. Thanks to the kindness and generosity of our friends, K and J, I was able to enjoy Lunenburg again (see my blog titled Lunenburg Memories).

K took me to visit Peggy’s Cove as well – another must see. The rocky shores, the defunct lighthouse and the Swiss Air memorial were all amazing. The landscape is unbelievable, with boulders scattered and perched on the rocky terrain, as if a giant had carefully placed them there like chess pieces. The Swiss Air memorial was exceptionally well designed – a huge boulder was sliced into two so that one can walk through in between the two planed surfaces. Half of the sliced rock had three slits carved on the top to depict the flight number 111, the slits were angled towards the spot where the plane had crashed between Peggy’s Cove and Bridgewater. Tile like patterns were created on the rock surface on which the memorial sits, in the middle of the huge expanse of rocky shorelines, amidst the windswept trees and scattered boulders. I can see why the locals love it there.

K knew the owner of the little gift store / coffee bar called Beale’s Bailiwick, he was quite a lovely old man, a real character. I really enjoyed chatting with him, listening to his stories. The store itself was twice lifted and displaced by the flooding waters caused by Hurricanes Juan and Bill, both times the store miraculously survived intact, except for the displacement off the foundation. With a new foundation and a new sea wall protecting it a little now, I hope it has a new lease on life.

I also had a lovely time walking and catching up with our beautiful artist niece, S, who showed me Point Pleasant Park and the Citadel. I learned a little more about her life as an artist, it was a gift to be able to chat and catch up with her.

The B&B that I’m staying in is only steps away from the Northwest arm, the Atlantic ocean can be seen from my room windows, and I can sit at the water’s edge, which is only a couple of houses away.

It is my blessings to be able to enjoy the tranquil moments, the visits with friends and family, and the historical sights the City has to offer … AWESOME!!!

Lunenburg memories

Today I had a chance to visit Lunenburg and Mahone Bay in Nova Scotia. Lunenburg is still the same picturesque quaint little town that I remembered from my last visit over 20 years ago. The biggest difference was that tourist season has not yet kicked in, the streets were largely devoid of pedestrians, and many of the stores were closed on Sunday, many were empty waiting for new businesses to fill the space. It was a little strange to be in this gorgeous town with no tourists to enjoy it. I walked along the streets in the sun, lined with colourful buildings and the air was salted by the ocean breeze.

One of my fondest memories of Lunenburg was from my visit to a block and tackle shop many moons ago. The business was located in an old two storey high building. A huge conveyor like belt and a large motor occupied most of the space. A special kind of hard wood called iron wood was used to make wooden blocks and tackles of the day. When the motor was turned on to run the lathes, the whole building shook, and the place was filled with noise, wood dust and debris. The core of the iron wood was dark grey to black, the hardest part of the tree. I still had a piece of this special wood as a souvenir, shaped like the letter C, where the core was carved out by the lathe. This old business had long ago been shut down, replaced by a restaurant and gift shop.

My visit today brought back this AWESOME memory from days of old. The sun felt good on my back, and the sea breeze made me feel alive. It was AWESOME to be able to visit Lunenburg again.