Posts Tagged ‘adjust’

I remember the days when the kids were younger, how noisy our home was … from all three kids wanting our attention at the same time to someone being hungry, from siblings fighting for the same toys or favourite things to teenagers having friends over, or everyone raising their voices because no one seemed to understand each other. Our house was never quiet until after everyone went to bed.

Our house has been quiet for some time already in the last few months, but now we are officially empty-nesters. As of this week, our youngest has moved out. With no kids at home, the TV is no longer on very often, no video games are being played, no friends gathering for a pool game or movie night. The house feels too big and we are “rattling around” inside. This quiet takes some getting used to.

Don’t get me wrong, I think it is AWESOME that the kids move out and be on their own. Like her two older siblings, I know our youngest will mature quickly when she learns the cost of living, the consequences of not washing dishes, doing her laundry or paying her bills – this kind of learning outside the classroom and outside the home is a necessity. THIS is the real game of Life, one that I have dreaded, worried sick and welcomed all at the same time, many times. I really had to learn to let go and trust that they will make it on their own. While it gets better and easier with each child, the worrying remains.

Even when the kids bring home their laundry baskets full of dirty clothes or ask if they could take something from our pantry, I love their home coming. I love their chit-chatting, sharing their stories of recent ups and downs or cooking a meal together. I love listening to their laughter and kibbitzing with each other and with us. This is what I call the family noise – it’s so AWESOME to be able to enjoy the noise in harmony, in peace with the knowledge that they see us as someone they can share things with or reach out to for our view points and opinions. It is a joy to see them grow up. I am missing the family noise – this is going to be a new journey of adjusting to being a twosome again.


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Not for the first time this year, I find myself alone with my husband and no children with us at the cottage. Just the two of us.

There are lots to do around the place, cleaning up the yard, looking after the much neglected planted vegetables, clearing the overgrown paths, etc. There is, of course, work related things to do as well. I don’t know whether to feel frustrated with the non-existent and sometimes intermittent internet service or be thankful that it’s not working, so I can truly get away from work for a while.

I read, I doodled, I did Sudoku and crossword puzzles, I listened to the radio and most of all, I looked out at the lake … it has a calming effect on me. The water is exceptionally high this year due to a very wet and cool spring on top of the snowmelt, the highest we’ve ever seen. Last night, the full moon reflected onto the dark surface of the rippling water, lighting up our bedroom with a mystic brightness.

I cooked without thinking that there were only the two of us, so we are now eating left overs for days to come. I think we are approaching the empty nester stage, if we weren’t already in it. When the kids were younger, I looked forward to this time alone with my husband, but now that it’s here, it takes a bit of getting used to. It is very nice not to have to drive anyone anywhere, it is nice to cook and eat whatever we want without worrying too much about a balanced nutritious meal, and it is very nice not to have to live by the kids’ schedules so much anymore, but I’m also missing the kids’ noise, their chatter and their comings and goings. Most of all, I miss the hugs that I used to get when they were younger, I miss their telling me everything about their days and subconsciously, I guess I miss feeling like I’m the one that they came to for all sorts of help and advice. It is AWESOME that they are feeling strong and capable enough to fly away from the nest.

This seems to be a bittersweet transition phase of our lives … it is AWESOME to be finally to be just us again, it is just going to take me some time to adjust.

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