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Posts Tagged ‘twosome’


I remember the days when the kids were younger, how noisy our home was … from all three kids wanting our attention at the same time to someone being hungry, from siblings fighting for the same toys or favourite things to teenagers having friends over, or everyone raising their voices because no one seemed to understand each other. Our house was never quiet until after everyone went to bed.

Our house has been quiet for some time already in the last few months, but now we are officially empty-nesters. As of this week, our youngest has moved out. With no kids at home, the TV is no longer on very often, no video games are being played, no friends gathering for a pool game or movie night. The house feels too big and we are “rattling around” inside. This quiet takes some getting used to.

Don’t get me wrong, I think it is AWESOME that the kids move out and be on their own. Like her two older siblings, I know our youngest will mature quickly when she learns the cost of living, the consequences of not washing dishes, doing her laundry or paying her bills – this kind of learning outside the classroom and outside the home is a necessity. THIS is the real game of Life, one that I have dreaded, worried sick and welcomed all at the same time, many times. I really had to learn to let go and trust that they will make it on their own. While it gets better and easier with each child, the worrying remains.

Even when the kids bring home their laundry baskets full of dirty clothes or ask if they could take something from our pantry, I love their home coming. I love their chit-chatting, sharing their stories of recent ups and downs or cooking a meal together. I love listening to their laughter and kibbitzing with each other and with us. This is what I call the family noise – it’s so AWESOME to be able to enjoy the noise in harmony, in peace with the knowledge that they see us as someone they can share things with or reach out to for our view points and opinions. It is a joy to see them grow up. I am missing the family noise – this is going to be a new journey of adjusting to being a twosome again.

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In the last couple of years, a number of nephews and nieces and children of our friends got engaged or married. Now, a few more are having babies. Happy news all around, neutralizing some of the sadder news like deaths and poor health of the more elderly families and friends. I suppose this is the Circle of Life, balancing out the old and the new.

It got me thinking about my own and immediate circles. My dad will be 90 years old next month; our youngest daughter is in her last year of teenagehood; our careers seem to have advanced into another stage – approaching potential retirement; my in-laws have moved out of their home and into a facility with independent living and assisted living programs.

Being middle age brings a new beginning for us as a couple – we are now having to adjust ourselves to being a twosome again. Without our children being our centres of attention and focus all the time, life now includes more dates, relaxation and sleep. Our worries are different now, they are more focused on our elderly parents; we wonder if our children will succeed in life, will be happy with whomever they will be with and whatever careers they choose, will be responsible and contributing members of society and living with values and integrity that we hope we have taught and inspired.

Looking back right now … I don’t think I have any big regrets. We did all that we knew how, all that we could, and all that we were able. The children have been given way more than we ever had as kids and young adults ourselves. I have to keep reminding myself that in bigger scheme of things, life has been good, no, AWESOME, to us so far. The Circle of Life is a natural and AWESOME balance.

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